The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize