Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
