dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
