But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't you send me to vm
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
