yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
whose parrot is this?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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