I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize