D3 body, D1 cock
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
