i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize