we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
