I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
