You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
