Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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