ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
