Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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