You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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