that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize