i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
