Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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