I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
