Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're a waste of cheezeits
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
