I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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