Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
