im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
