Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
