Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Randomize
