i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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