I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I deserve this hangover.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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