That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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