a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize