R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
