I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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