i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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