What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize