So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
