great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
