I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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