Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize