mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
