My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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