you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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