dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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