The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
