well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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