my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
