at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sobbing to NWA
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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