I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
