yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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