Sry I called you an 8
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
