i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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