I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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