Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
