It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
