I'm really into asian looking animals
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
