Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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