I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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