Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
